Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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