is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Your cock deserves a montage
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
