Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
