Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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