Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
