So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
