he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
