Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
