We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
