you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
