dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
he shaved USA in his pubs
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
