u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
