I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
