Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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