All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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