I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
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