I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Randomize
