arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
