Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
