the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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