Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
