There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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