I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
