Dude my mom stole all your condoms
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
