she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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