you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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