Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
