covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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