I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
