that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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