A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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