Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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