I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
A+ Viking dick
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
