Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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