Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I've blown a few things in my day
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
