every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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