just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Enjoy the penises
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
