things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Why is there bacon in the couch?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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