i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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