i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
