Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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