Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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