I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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