Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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