you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
His nipple licking is glorious
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