he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
