Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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