I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
