11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
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