My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
