But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
did i walk over a car last night?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
And my parents said I crawled through the house
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
