Too much gin, very little bucket
i dont even know how to be here
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
