Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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